Things I have learnt in 2017 and hopes for 2018 only upwards and beyond
I have learnt to start each day with gratitude, pray for strength, courage and ask for wisdom. I have learnt to forgive transgressions of yesterday and not to allow bitterness from disappointments contaminate any aspects of my life. It was not easy, but I had to learn.
I have learnt that regret is pointless – this is because absolutively everything happens for a reason. Some people believe in randomness and chance, others believe in a higher power and their paths already designed, whatever the case I have come to accept that there’s no need to regret anything. Wasting energy and thought power regretting things we did or didn’t do does more harm than good and here’s my reasoning – unless a perfect time machine is invented, tried and tested, no one can go back to the past and change anything. So why regret, why waste time thinking of should haves would haves and could haves. If it was a mistake you wish to regret, learn from it and move on. Most of us say they regret things they didn’t do, it’s human nature, but instead of regretting why not do it now: they say better late than never. However, we must be reasonable because if at the age of 80 you wished you studied medicine instead of hospitality, you have to accept you were never meant to be a doctor and probably the most reasonable thing would be to start a hobby related to medicine. I [now] understand there are no mistakes only lessons.
Worrying too much is another wasted energy. We all do it in an attempt to cope with actual or imagined (potential) problems. Psychology teaches that there two types of worries: – hypothetical and practical, and knowing the difference helps alleviate excessive unnecessary worrying. Although worrying is normal and human, I’ve learnt that it’s serves me best if I classify the worry and decide how much time and/or energy I will need to dwell on it. All in all, worry is useless because worrying about things does not change the result or outcome – e.g. if you took an exam and later spend sleepless nights worrying about it, it’s futile because your worrying will not change how you performed in the exam. If you are worrying about an unpaid bill because of lack of money, you can find practical ways to deal with the problem e.g. talk to the provider and make a plan. Therefore, worrying is futile, I know this is easier said than done but practice makes perfect. Classify the worry and with time you will find you worry less.
Age is just a number and it’s never too late to learn, to love, make friends, make babies, however age brings the greatest gift of all – experience – that’s how you know it’s ok to say ‘no’ or ‘I don’t know’ without feeling guilty. In the same breath, life is precious and too short to entertain badness. I’ve learnt that friends come and go because that’s the circle of life. People come into your life for a reason and/or season. Some people will take root and stay for a long time, others will satisfy a certain need in your or their life and leave. I have learnt blood is not always thicker than water and family does not necessarily mean blood. And when a good person comes into your life, be the best friend you can be while remaining true to yourself. Never overlook your rules to please people, you can’t make anyone stay.
If you must lie make sure it’s in your best interest and no one gets hurt, well unless it’s the government in which case no one gives a shit. Remember when you tell the truth you don’t have to have a good memory, and “for every good reason to lie there’s a better reason to tell the truth” Bo Berell. Be wise and kind and goodness shall flow.
I have learnt to forgive myself because in so doing I feel happier and able to forgive others. Forgiveness frees the mind from negativity. When you don’t forgive you can’t forget; when you can’t forget you worry, you regret, and you create a never-ending replay of events in your head – in this instance the only person you are hurting is you because the other person has most likely moved on.
The three most important things I’ve learnt – no matter what, always wear comfortable shoes; invest in a gorgeous handbag that goes with anything, and follow a strict skin care regime i.e. from facials to cream to makeup.
Be yourself because that’s all you can be, everyone else is taken.
Another thing of paramount importance, wanting to be alone does not equate to loneliness, always enjoy a little me time.
And remember everything happens for a reason although it’s unlikely to understand this when it’s happening when you look back and evaluate events you will the reason it happened.