“The worst curse to befall anyone is stagnation, a banal existence, the quiet desperation that comes out of a need for conformity.” Deepak Chopra
First, I would like to apologise to you my esteemed readers for not posting last Tuesday – long story, details of which I won’t bore you with, Secondly I would like to thank those of you who messaged to ask why there was no post and to ask if I was ok – I was greatly touched for your care and concern.
In life, even with the best intentions, hard work and perseverance, things don’t always go to plan. People let you down, weather messes up travel plans, computers breakdown, Wi-Fi is interrupted, dreams are shattered, hearts are broken – from trivial matters to the major. Sometimes when disaster strikes, it feels like a ton of bricks has crashed on your head, some people experience real pain in their heart, others feel their throats closing, for some their thoughts travel at 200 miles per hour.
For some people this is enough to cause heart attack inducing panics, while for others they remain as cool as cucumbers in the middle of chaos – the interest is in the latter group because don’t we all wish we can remain calm in crisis and come up with dignified solutions.
Recently I spoke to one of those cool as cucumber people and asked them how they deal with let downs and disappointment so calmly without being suicidal or homicidal.
“Expect nothing from people, so when they disappoint you, it’s not a surprise, and when they deliver it’s a pleasant surprise.” W said.
“Years of practice and deep breaths.” X said.
“Self-restraint and discipline. When things are out of your control, your worrying won’t change a thing, but it will hurt your psyche.” Y said.
“Don’t torture yourself by seeking revenge or retribution. In the end it is not worth it.” Z said.
It’s human nature to want revenge or self-medicate when things are falling apart – whichever is readily available to the wronged person. However, the feeling elicited from such actions is short lived and there’s a high chance the consequences would be life changing. As X said, years of practice taught her to remain calm when life is screwed up. I believe these ‘years of practice’ equates to experience – given a situation e.g. rumours that a partner is cheating – a 25-year-old would react completely different from a 45-year-old [but of course there are exceptions to everything – you might find a 25-year-old behaving more maturely than some 45-year olds]. In business situation e.g., staff failing to turn up for work – a new start up may feel like the world is collapsing on them while an experienced business would calmly find an alternative without missing a heartbeat.
There is a belief among many that out of the rubble of shattered expectations and disappointments, a better life may emerge, so believers tend to see the bright side of things. Being grateful for being alive and having another chance is enough motivation for anyone to rise from the dust. I saw a video of a woman who has suffered enough to put anyone complaining of small things to shame: in the video she said she was grateful for being alive despite everything she’d been through and believed things would get better. One must be in a good place in life to think like that.
I realise this is not always automatic for everyone even when one is fully aware, sometimes we are too quick to speak and react. But I’ve discovered that meditation, even for 10 seconds, when faced with a tough situation lets your soul speak as opposed to your mouth. I found the profound simplicity of it all rejuvenating – when you block all around you and listen – try it, it works. It takes patience, lots of practice and remembering to do this as opposed to reacting.
Some food for thought: listen to understand and not to respond, that way you have the best chance of letting your soul answer/respond
We are always on the lookout for inspirational stories.
Be kind always
Be humble for always
Live in the moment