A while ago I saw this meme, “never push a loyal person to the point where they no longer give a damn!!”
I thought long and hard on this one, and decided it could mean one or any of these two things: if you take a loyal friend for granted, they lose interest in you and not give a hoot about you or your circumstances, or if you download too much on a loyal friend they become immune to your constant whining and stop caring. Of course, people would interpret this differently because we all have different perspectives on things and in life. What is important to one person could be a total waste of time and space to another. Everyone is entitled to interpret things any way they like – mostly to justify morbid curiosities, or because life becomes easier if you programme your mind to interpret things in a way that doesn’t hurt or bring to the surface bad memories or experiences.
This gives rise to the fact that every decision a person makes is largely influenced by their personal values. These personal values maybe swayed or altered or undermined by other people’s personal values – it all depends on a person’s durability. Regardless of the factors determining personal values, a person’s actions tell if that person lives by their personal (good) values or by what society expects of them. There are good and bad personal values, mainly determined by circumstances and how people have been conditioned over generations. That said hope is on the horizon.
Everybody knows and understands that good values should be beneficial to the wider community – morally upright, unbiased, sensitive, fair etc. However, because we are human, most times we ‘instantly create’ values based on feelings and self-preservation. Imagine this ……. it’s 8am and you are (queuing – nowadays people queue where the doors usually open) on the underground station waiting for your train. Trains come every 2 minutes, but they are so packed no one comes out so no one gets in and the queue doesn’t move – sometimes it spills out into the streets above.
Suddenly, someone who prefers flood-the-station-Tokyo-style pushes past you and everyone else, stands so close to the glass doors his nose is practically fused with the glass, ignores the grunts all around him and now heads the queue. Needless to say, he squeezes into the next train, yelling at people to ‘move down the carriage for fuck’s sake!’ leaving everyone speechless. Guaranteed…. within seconds….. the British values of forming an orderly line and waiting your turn would be thrown out of the window: as soon as the next train pulls up, an avalanche of people fall in without ‘letting people off first.’ This instant disregard to values is based on emotions – anger and frustration. As it’s well known, decision made on emotions can’t be trusted to bring out the best in people.
There’s a video online of a well-known pastor having oral sex with one of his parishioners, who is apparently not his wife. I don’t know how authentic this video is, or even if the man on the video is the named pastor or whether the woman moaning in the background is a parishioner in his church. After the video went viral, presumably for all the wrong reasons, he released a less than 3 mins press statement. The press statement, in my estimation, was questionable – its like adding fuel to an already out of control fire. He basically told people off, to mind their own business, and that God created humans to enjoy our bodies and each other in any way we chose. As much as that is true, his association with religiosity seriously undermines that belief and his choices which ultimately lead to his actions. Yes, he is human. Yes, he has needs (and she has needs too). Yes, sex is a natural process. Yes, to a million other things. Despite all that, his personal values and public expectations clash.
There’s an unwritten rule that people who have taken it upon themselves to teach the good book should live by it, and if humanness take hold, they should be discreet to a point of invisibility. I wonder who recorded it and/or posted it online? Maybe there are bigger things at play here and we just have to wait and see. Bottom line – a (the) pastor is held to higher standards than the average Joe and his personal values should exceed public expectations: if he has things in the closet, they should stay there. We have been conditioned to expect that. That’s probably why the catholic church went to extraordinary lengths to hide and protect sexual deviants in the clergy.
Personal values are the foundation of a community, the building blocks of a society, the cement of a culture and identity, and the blueprint for humanity. If personal values are meaningless and valueless, the domino effect goes on for centuries. Nothing built on weak foundation lasts, and when turbulence occurs as it does from time and time, the effects are worse that those of a tsunami. The current generation of humans is bombarded, day in day out, with messages from people whose personal values are dubious.
The current POTUS, for example, said he grabs women by the pussy. Any morally malnourished young man would be forgiven for thinking that this behaviour is acceptable. Afterall, adults elected this man to highest office in a powerful land. Another morally starved and stagnant layabout , likely suffering some mental health issues, would be forgiven for thinking this behaviour put that man in office (maybe it did), therefore the behaviour is normal and acceptable.
What this means is that we have to take responsibility by making personal values higher than ourselves. To think of the ripple effect that our actions, that are defined by what we value, may give rise to. In as much as we raise the bar on our personal values, making them for a higher purpose, (humanity), may elicit a desire to do right by them and inspire the next generation.
The bad news is that as humans we are fatally flawed, and the animal instinct in us can’t help but make us a tad selfish. Maybe we can compromise and let the things we do to please the animal in us be for our eyes only, and not a mistake to ruin a generation we know nothing about.