Hey Tribe
The second part of ‘My son, his step-son’ story has been unceremoniously withdrawn for personal reasons.
So, as today is also our fun day, I thought some humour is much needed in TiH.
Sometimes I lay awake thinking ‘what if creditors had a sense of humour, how would debtors write to them?’
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Studies have shown that being in debt can have a tremendous impact on mental health, and humour has the potential to effectuate pain relief, strengthen immune functions, improve positive emotions and moderate stress.
Psych sources
My dear credit card company
I hope this email finds you well and COVID free.
Please note this is a generic email because there are just too many of you and my mental health issues won’t allow me to write separate emails.
I am sorry I haven’t kept my promises to you. I got overwhelmed and things just spiralled out of control. As you know COVID knows no bounds and my life and business suffered because of the lockdowns. I am grateful that you helped me in times of need, and although I may have told a few lies to secure maximum credit I had no choice. And as my grandma often said, “a thief is better than a fool and some lies are simply wisdom in disguise”. So please don’t take it personally. I’ve also stored the cards safely in the freezer, so don’t worry I won’t be spending anymore.
As you can imagine, my situation is precarious, therefore I tried to consolidate my debts using IVA programs, however, they stole from me when I couldn’t keep up with them and things got so bad I considered homicide. Anyway these IVA nutjobs think they are immune to COVID times and above the law, and I’m still angry about the money they stole.
I know you dislike me, especially when you call and I fail to answer your calls: I know you hate me when you call with no-caller-id and pretend I am in the hospital or at the police station, but please understand I need time away from you until further notice because my finances are non-existence, and my mental health is important, and it matters. And, can you do me another favour, stop sending letters in red ink – the sight of these gives me palpitations which are not good for my overall health. Also, the number of letters you’ve sent is equivalent to 30 trees, so please consider global warming before you pen another letter.
I literally live from hand to mouth because I am trying to make my life better and it’s not easy or cheap. I also have a relentless ambition to further my education and avoid work for as long as possible. And making my life better means people (and corporations) like you must stay away from me. Despite that, I lay awake at night thinking of you and remembering how happy you once made me, and I thank you for that because you lifted me from depression only you could lift, but it was short-lived, and now I need you to back off a little bit.
Please be patient. I haven’t forgotten about you. I don’t want this to ruin our future relationships because I know I will need you again, and you most certainly will need me too. For now, let me work on myself and when I breathe again, you’ll be the first to know.
There is no need to reply to this email, I will deactivate the address as soon as I press send. Wait for me and I promise I will make it up to you.
Yours sincerely
Your debtor
PS: I know the word ‘promise’ coming from me gives you chills, but my mental health advisor says it’s important to use it.
Love always XOXO
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Photo credit: Kindel Media – pexels.com