Skyping cúcú

I love technology.  I love the fact that it has made the world smaller and more accessible.  I can talk to someone in Alaska instantaneously and cheaply (hello WhatsApp, Skype, Tango, Viber etc etc).  Everything, well almost everything technology has done is to make human’s lives easier, quicker, instant and fun.

My dot-com-generation daughter constantly wonders, “How did you (mum) ever survive in the olden days?” aka the eighties and nineties. I answer “For starters, we had better memories, we had (still do) superhuman spatial awareness and knowledge.  We had (STILL DO) insane skills and were creative in making up games etc. We didn’t need an iPhone to tell us where to go or which turn to make in how many steps or in how long.  We made plans weeks in advance and kept to it without last-minute cancellations.

Fast forward 2016 – We (older generation) have appreciated the technology and are keeping up with Joneses.  My grandmother, for instance, is in her 90s (bless her heart) and still as sharp as a tack.  She owns a mobile phone! She knows how to receive and make calls and she’s happy.

I live in the diaspora and don’t see my family often but thanks to tech I can talk to them daily and I can see them albeit on small screens but it’s something.  When I first moved to the UK, it cost an arm and a leg and probably a liver to phone Kenya and have a proper chinwag.  Now, all we need are smartphones and the internet and it’s considerably cheaper.

The first time (a few years ago now) my Cúcú (grandma), was on skype – it was the most hilarious.  So one of my many sisters visited her and took her iPad with her, jam-packed with bundles of the internet (yeah that’s Kenya), so we can chat.  She texted, “ndí gwa cúcú ní tú skype. (I’m at grandma’s, lets skype). I was excited and obviously assumed she’d explained to grandma.  So I skyped and (as far as cúcú was concerned) “out of nowhere she could hear my voice” and my sister having conversations with it!!  Argghh

“Where is she?” she asked looking around her, “I haven’t seen her in over a year.”

My sister jammed the iPad onto her lap without giving much thought or any explanation. “In hindsight…. It was not so obvious that she’d just know what to do?” Was her excuse when grilled later.

“She’s here, talk to her”

Confused and wondering what was this heavy gadget was and why there was a moving photo of her granddaughter, and why her voice was coming from the awkward gadget, she placed the huge ‘phone’ to her ear, assuming it must be the latest phone yet again!  Meanwhile, my mean sister is on the floor!! The drama unfolding before her eyes was too much. She was trying to explain that it wasn’t a phone and there was no need to place the device on the ear. Grandma was not listening.  She was asking all sorts of questions. At my end, all I could see was darkness and what I thought was a huge half ear, on occasions a tooth or mouth or eye!  Even when the creator of this drama got off the floor and demonstrated how to talk on a skype call using an iPad, grandma couldn’t help but put the thing to her ear!!

At that point I was getting exasperated, I started shouting asking her to just face the huge phone. “Rora thimo cúcú!”

My dumb sister was still laughing and taking pictures of the drama on her phone, confusing grandma all the more. “What the hell is going on?  Too many gadgets!! Just buy a ticket and come and see me!!” said grandma as she handed the ‘thing’ back.

So next time you pounce the latest technology on your grandma, think!!!  As much as we enjoy the drama of the confusion, the poor woman is left thinking “I can’t cope……. Arggg”

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